Complaining: You're Doing It Wrong!
We all have shitty days.
The kind of day where you sleep through your alarm and then wake up feeling like a truck has smacked you in the head, you spill your coffee down your shirt running down the street (because you’re now running late) and then when you get to the office, you realise you didn’t pack your sports bra for the gym after work! *facepalm*
Things are going to go wrong in life, there’s no way to avoid it. But how you let the small stuff affect the rest of your day, that’s what really matters.
Ask yourself if you identify with any of the following:
Suzi The Sympathy Seeker:
Suzi is constantly explaining to people why she’s got it much worse than they do. If someone has something to complain about, Suzi has had something worse happen to her, just ask her... or don’t, she’ll post it on Facebook later.
Val The Venter:
Val is just going through life generally dissatisfied, and she’ll happily tell you why, but doesn’t want your advice, no matter how helpful it may be, she just needs you to know that she’s not happy and that’s just how it is. Does not smile in photos.
Emily The Energy Sap:
Emily lives in a constant state of negativity. Everything she says and feels has a negative undertone and she spends her time dwelling on her problems rather than getting a complaint off her chest and then moving on with her day. She doesn’t get invited to many parties.
Ok, so those were some extreme examples! Chances are though that we’ve all experienced a subtler version of one of them or even all three.
I’m not going to tell you that complaining is bad and that you need to stop. (I mean, you could probably tone it down a little regardless).
BUT if you’re going to complain, complain constructively.
Try and ask yourself these questions:
Are you able to flip your complaint into a more positive statement through affirmations, expressing gratitude or another strategy that you find helpful?
Like, “Hey I spilt my coffee all over me, but I have a) the ability to get another coffee and b) have access to water to help clean my shirt up, how lucky am I?”
Will complaining help you move on emotionally from the problem?
Will the people you vent to amplify your negative thoughts, or help you find a solution to the problem?
Are you going to bring negative energy to other people by complaining
There’s a great quote from Jay Shetty that I read the other day,
“A great mood becomes a great day, a great day becomes a great year, a great year becomes a great life”.
The opposite is also true, a bad mood becomes a bad day, becomes a bad year and on it goes. I don’t know about you, but I’d personally like to have as many great days as I can, and be invited to all the parties!